Kuliyah Muharram: Cabaran Hijrah 1430 (atau cara-cara untuk menaikkan harga minyak)

Adakah anda kebingungan kerana harga minyak terlalu rendah?

Adakah anda risau dengan kekurangan pendapatan dari pada harga minyak kerana harga minyak terlalu rendah?

Adakah anda tidak berpuas hati kerana harga barang masih lagi mahal sedangkan harga minyak murah?

Senang sahaja untuk mengatasi masalah ini :)

Serang saja Palestin dan insya-Allah harga minyak akan naik USD5 sehari.

Dengan itu, sempena tahun baru hijrah 1430 marilah kita sama sama renungkan cabaran tahun ini dengan senandung ahli nujum Sheryl Crow yang menceritakan tentang malapetaka yang dunia kita akan hadapi kerana emas hitam ini.

Bak kata ahli nujum itu, dimana ada taik disitu pasti ada lalat.

Gasoline

Way back in the year of 2017
The sun was growing hotter
And oil was way beyond its peak
When crazy Hector Johnson broke into a refinery
And the black gold started flowing
Just like Boston tea

It was the summer of the riots
And London sat in sweltering heat
And the gangs of Mini Coopers
Took the battle to the streets
But when the creed was handed down
For no more trucks and no more cars
They threw cans of petrol through the windows at Scotland Yard

Gasoline
Will be free, will be free
Gasoline
Will be free, will be free

When the Mounties stormed the palace of the Saudi family
They held them up for ransom
Without disturbing their high tea
But their getaway was shaky
They stalled in the Riyadh streets
Cause you can't make it very far
When your tank is on empty

The final can of gasoline was loaded on a truck
And driven through the streets of Agra to the palace aquaduct
You see, all the majesty of worship that once adorned these fatal halls
Was just a target to the angry
As they blew up the Taj Mahal

Gasoline
Will be free, will be free
Gasoline
will be free, will be free

Gary ran a market way down in Tennessee
Where all the farmers got together and talked about this great country
But when the government turned its back on farming
Man, what I hear
They dragged the pumps out of the ground
With a big vintage John Deere

I've got soldiers on my payroll
Standing guard on my front drive
Snipers on the roof poised at those
Who don't want me alive
Cause they audited my taxes
My family under threat
Cause I've got a message and a megaphone
And I'll scream it to the death

Gasoline
Will be free, will be free
Gasoline
Will be free, will be free

You got the farms in Argentina
Making fuel from sugar cane
You got the bastards in Washington
Afraid of popping the greed vain
Cause the money's in the pipeline
And pipeline's running dry
And we'll be the last to recognize
Where there's shit there's always flies

Is Malay pride cheap?

Minta maaf, we have disappeared for a while as we had to make sure our money or what's left of it remained safe in the current global financial disappearing act. We can gladly report we have enough left over for a beer party.

Damn! Oktoberfest is over. Yet, in the spirit of Malaysia's YES! or rather Year-End-Sales or now renamed Malaysian Saving Sales, we are surprised to see that Malay pride appears to be on sale at a trifling amount of RM2 million.

That's the amount that GGMM or Young Malays Graduate Movement is demanding from MCA No 2 Chua Soi Lek, the man who has increased Chinese pride on the first day of this New Year.

Why do we ask if Malay pride is cheap?

Simple, the Hindu Rights Action Front (Hindraf to the uninitiated which is now banned by the government) had demanded 4 trillion pound sterling (RM22 trillion) from the British Government last year claiming they were brought here as indentured labourers and later marginalised by the Malaysian authorities.

And what does GGMM ask? RM2 million for the citizenships given out during Merdeka.

The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) is appalled at the nano sum asked by the GGMM. Come on, have some pride, Malaysian citizenships must be worth more than that, particularly if compounded from 1957.

Or are we still in the habit of giving out citizenships for a stick of kretek? Are our identity cards and passports so cheap these days?

We are not that cheap. But if GGMM thinks that they are, we'll raise them double and take over the country too. But let's do it before the next Malaysia Day as we have had enough of the blather from the bugger.

Right, Malaysian Savings Sales, 1957 citizenships certificates on sale.

Cheap! Just RM2 million for the right to be called pendatang and get the kris waved in your face once in a while.

Or RM22 billion for the right to be called keling and sent to Kamunting for a few years.