Crown and Cyberspace

Daulat Tuanku.

Like, we have a new King of Malaysia today, or rather a just-installed Supreme Head, as His Majesty is described if one, like, reads the writing on the inside cover of the Malaysian Passport.

Oh.My.God. The coronation was totally tripendicular, dudes! Did you, like, get to catch it on the idiot box? Did you see me? Did you see me? Did you see me?

Like, just a few rows behind the baldwin crown prince Al-Muhtadee Billah from Brunei! He is just sooooooooooooooooooo cute!

Enough with the crown and the coronation!

Like, I have been away from the cyberspace for a bit now, busy with parliamentary work, travelling around though not as much as some legislators. As if!

Barf me out! Cyberspace has been totally radical in my absence. Fer shur!

But I totally agree with this dude Tim Dowling on the levels that those cyber citizens have descended over time.

Like, let me quote him.

In the course of that research I branched out, seeking out the online detractors of journalists with higher profiles than myself. This was my introduction to the blogosphere: a seemingly intemperate, foul-mouthed, grotesquely misogynistic community where no one can spell and everyone is blessed with a surfeit of time.

For a journalist with an unwholesome interest in his own online profile, however, the most shocking thing about the blogosphere is its obsession with itself. They blog about the blogosphere a lot. Most of the abuse is blogger-on-blogger: how dare you stop me blogging about how blog-censorship is preventing me from blogging on the future of blogging! I'm going to burn down your house!

Dowling is just totally sluggin, dudes!

As for the bloggers.... figure it out, darlings!

Surreal Sureties

Today Jeff Ooi wrote that he "relish(es) the distinct stature as an individual who have the ears of leaders from the Other Side of the the present day political divide. Not many bloggers could have done that, perhaps. So, I should take all the rumours as a compliment, even a chip on the shoulder."

Chewah.

"Not many could have done that, perhaps"

Confused?

"So, I should take all the rumours as a compliment, even a chip on the shoulder."

Chip on his shoulder - Having a harboured grievance or sense of inferiority and being quick to take offence.

So Jeff is taking it as a compliment but he'll be quick to take offence.

I'm more confused than earlier.

Maybe I should have not drank too much last night.

Perhaps his title of "Ijok, I-joke" is apt.

Jeff Ooi is a joke.

Then we have this from Bernama:

Zainuddin Protests To BBC Over Air Time For Rejected Leaders

So what.

So what if the BBC airs Anwar. Like the many people that do watch the BBC will vote in Ijok anyway.

Maybe ZAM is jealous that he himself didn't get interviewed.

Such protests are a waste of public funds.

ZAM should put the money to good use and maybe spend it to beautify RTM's toilets.

Sometimes I wake up, I wonder if I woke up in the middle of the twilight zone.

With all these news and Alanis Morissette's new music video of her song "My Humps", maybe I am in the twilight zone.

Too do too doooooo too doo tooo dooooooooo......



UPDATE: For the ultimate surreal effect, play both videos at the same time! =)

Rock the Vote, errrr.. Boat!

Funny. Take one sleepy town called Ijok.
Add one dead lawmaker.
Equals a by-election that is the centre of attraction in Malaysia.

And shitloads of tax-payers' money to shoddily resurface roads and other "development" projects that are the hallmarks of third-rate third-world politics. Its our tax money and I hope they enjoy it before the general elections are called.

Oh, I forgot! Its raining water-bottles in the constituency now known for voting geriatrics and those barely-circumcised, as the case may be!

Lucky bastards! Its normal acid rain over in Kuala Lumpur and suburbs.

While the parties-at-war slug it out for the votes of the 12,000-odd that make up the Ijok state seat, thousands of others are encouraging them to continue putting in a ruling coalition candidate or make a stand against the powers-that-be.

Seems like a kind of guilt complex to me! Should the Ijok-ians salve our conscience of continuously sticking with the devils that we know rather than those we don't or don't ever want to know?

Should they vote for development - shoddy roads and such - or take it and vote for a man who was once part of the establishment but now sidelined and hankering to reform Malaysia through an alliance that have seen better days not once but twice?

Maybe!

Well, that's the conundrum, isn't it? Should Ijok do for us what we cannot do for ourselves? Or should we - the citizens of Malaysia and those who can vote - do it ourselves in the next general elections?

Is Ijok our one small step for man to rock the vote, err.. boat that is the ruling coalition?

And what would be our giant leap for mankind?

You tell me!

Relax-lah!

We have been relaxing! Can't you tell? The lack of posts is a dead give away.

Yeah! We hiked over to Machap weeks ago for the Bukkake Network and Democrazy Akshen Parti mash-up and over the weekend trudged over to Ijok to see the idiocy between the parties-at-war - Bukkake Network and Parti Kera Raba Raba.

Since we don't buy elections, we didn't take part nor did we even bother to put our two cents' worth of punditry.

Suffice to say we are not buying into a whole load of cow-dung and bull-shit that is the verbal diarrhea being spouted by all and sundry.

For example, the latest pearl of wisdom from the most-beloved-and-now-tolerated Dr Mahathir Mohamad , about his successor Abdullah Ahmad Badawi serving one term as prime minister before making way for his deputy Najib Abdul Razak.

Prescient, Mahathir is indeed. And if so, he would have known a lot about all his ex-deputies and their penchant to either overthrow him or overstay their welcome. Yeah, right!

Maybe is former deputy Anwar Ibrahim was right in saying that Mahathir has become a revisionist historian in alluding to his time in power and the glory he brought to Malaysia.

Then again, Anwar seems to be talking from both sides of the mouth too, making allusions and dropping innuendoes about Najib Abdul Razak when it was the same kind of talk that felled Anwar from grace.

With all this entertainment to keep us enthralled and stuck to the cyberworld, do we even have time to write our peace?

No! It is time to relax.



And see all the fun!

Point of Law

It is becoming quite a fad to persecute bloggers these days.

In San Francissco, USA, blogger Joshua Wolf was jailed for being in contempt of court for not turning over possible video evidence to the FBI.

In Singapore, a blogger was questioned for posting pictures of Christ in an offensive manner, one blogger was convicted for racist remarks and some other bloggers were not as lucky as they were sentenced to jail for racist remarks.

In Malaysia, we are not being left out with Jeff Ooi and Rocky being sued by the NST for defamation.

However, many of the reactions to these cases have been rebellious in nature with many of the protagonists depicting doom gloom scenarios with bloggers claiming being charged under repressive laws, of being treated unfairly, basically telling everyone that the establishment is against them and are out to shut down their blogs for good.

But these bloggers forget that they are citizens too.

In Malaysia, bloggers are citizens too.

And as de facto citizens of Malaysia there are several positive actions that bloggers can take:

1. Fight their cause in the courts,
2. If the laws in Malaysia do not address their problems in court, then they must lobby the legislative (i.e. the members of parliament) to help redress the problems with regards to the law, and
3. If the legislators are unable to sympathise and help with the amendment of laws, then bloggers should seek other legislators or potential legislators who can push for their cause in parliament.

Support is usually returned, and here the full potential of bloggers with an agenda can be fully realised. One will be in that unique space that some bloggers clamour for; i.e. to influence other towards their own agenda. They can turn the blogosphere into a propaganda machine with more spins and google bombs to support the blogger friendly MP candidates, if they so wish.

There is after all freedom of speech in the internet.

Why should bloggers claim a special place among Malaysians? We all must be humble and act together as part and parcel of the dynamic but fragile social tapestry that is Malaysia: as her loyal citizens.

We must alway address issues positively, never rant and never rant about the doomsday scenario.

We are all special: bloggers and other citizens alike and its our collective responsibility to make Malaysia a better place; by blogging and/or voting responsibly and/or by any other means that is available for us.

We are no Judge Dredds.

Malaysian Muslim Mayhem

There are only a few things one can reclaim in life. Country. Faith. Name. Family. Property. None in any particular order. But I will only deal with two today.

Country and faith.

While Muslims - Malaysians and those outside this nation - claim their faith, religion and way of life is being hijacked by either the fundamentalists or the liberals or anything in between that spectrum, I am more concerned about Malaysia.

I want to reclaim Malaysia for what it was when it was created. A Malaysia for all people within it, won't quote any politicians on this, but you know - no distinction between genders and race, class and creed etc.

I don't care if they are the religious right, the liberal left, the over-the-top, the below-the-line, the conservative centre, those in the outskirts and those in the inner circle. They are all Malaysians under the sun and the moon and the stars that exist in day and night.

But it is galling to me to hear and read about those who speak about the faith and its impact in Malaysia.

One just have to use Google to find out about a proposal to have a rehabilitation centre for transvestites or effeminate men in Terengganu to the Lina Joy case to Muslim converts, strangely most are ethnic Indians, and the problems it causes their families.

What gives? I have asked over the past few weeks.

The icing to the cake was this morning - Friday the 13th - when venerable state television station Radio Televisyen Malaysia morning chat show Selamat Pagi Malaysia posed a question along the lines of whether trading in shares over the internet was making Muslims lazy to work?

What the fuck?

Of those who responded - quite wisely and weirdly - 58 percent said no while 42 percent said yes.

Aren't there any other questions to ask in this country? How about the environment? The state of single mothers, orphans, the poor, the disabled, corruption, economy etc? No?

Why the obsession with Islam and Muslims in Malaysia?

There is more than being religious and righteous in this world. There is that little word called respect. Not tolerance for others but respect.

That, I think, is the one thing missing in the equation in Malaysia. Respect for everyone to know and decide what they are doing instead of patronising us with stupid questions and proposals and ideas and comments.

Respect. And maybe some rhapsody.



Bismillah. I will never let it go!

Am I Muslim?

R. Subashini vs T. Saravanan @ Muhammad Shafi Abdullah. Aisehman, a lot of people have a lot to say about the case.

We just have one question and one suggestion to make.

Am I Muslim?

Now that is the question Muhammad Shafi Abdullah will have to ask himself. And also the good people at the Islamic Affairs Department that helped him become a Muslim.

Am I Muslim in the sense of fairness and justice, for the wife who contracted a marriage under civil laws and traditional rites but now facing the prospect of being divorced under a different law.

Am I Muslim in the sense of taking away her right to help decide her children's faith and upbringing.

Am I Muslim in deciding to help convert a man who has a family who does not know of his intention.

Am I Muslim in deciding on cases where the Federal Constitution already provides for methods in deciding on marriages and divorces for Muslims and non-Muslims. And where the Syariah Court is only for Muslims.

Am I Muslim? Are they Muslim in every sense of the word then?

Enough with the question.

Now for the suggestion. How about the Islamic Affairs Department that oversees conversions to the faith determine if the person converting has wrapped up his or her affairs in their previous faith or civil marriages before becoming Muslim.

Better to convert those who are ready and proud to proclaim their faith rather than those who do it hastily and bring pain and misery to others.

Islam is more than a religion or faith. It is a way of life.



Am I Muslim? Are you?