Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Det and Queer face-off in Penanti

Aisehman, you are quite right!

But how about the Det squaring off against his protege-turned-nemesis Anwar Ibrahim who has a queer penchant for by-elections.

Stands to reason that would be the political face-off this century. Both are the ones gagging for a fight which gives them reason to exist in this New Malaysia.

So how about it? The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) is more than happy to step out of the fight and allow these two fine specimens of Malaysian polity fight it out for posterity though we rather they work things out for our prosperity.

After all, it seems that Barisan Nasional is hesitant and want to work on fixing the economy. Heck, even the DAP wants to move on and get Penang's economy moving forward.

Its only these two who are spoiling for a fight, for a siege mentality to keep them relevant and keep them in public eye.

Come on. Let these two tribes go to war.

Thursday, April 16, 2009



Like, what's happening these days! Am glad to be back but the new shades are a killer! These past few months, like, been pretty 'illin doin' nuthin' much!

Yeah, gag me with a spoooooooooooooooon already!

Oh.My.God! Like, guess what I read today in the daily rag! Some dude goin' against no-smoking laws. Cool.

But, like, what a lame statement.

Penang police chief slams smoking ban

GEORGE TOWN: Police yesterday slammed the state government for announcing a blanket smoking ban in public areas for uniformed police officers without consulting the force.
State deputy police chief Datuk Tun Hisan Tun Hamzah said the police would not abide by the directive blindly.

"We will not comply with the directive and will look at various legal aspects before deciding on the next course of action.

"Our objective is to scrutinise the directive to ascertain if it is legally binding to prevent civil employees from puffing in public.

"It is pointless to follow the instructions in the absence of any law on the matter."
Tun Hisan said there was no need to follow the directive as the disciplinary committee in the force was adequate to take action against policemen who smoked while on duty.

OK! Whatsup with that 'tude, dude!

That's, like, totally losing it already!

'Nuff said! Gotta get crackin' and like, head to Penang for some by-election campaign afte that other loser quit Penanti. Gag me with a spooon already but what's happenin' with these PKR folks?


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Cunning Linguistics

Arise, Malaysians.

Clean your ears, wash your eyes, go back to school and learn Bahasa Melayu.

Follow us on the path to One Malaysia of many versions.

Where the deputy prime minister Muhyiddin Yassin can say something in one language for it to come out, apparently different, in other languages, but what is said is fine as Malaysia is a democracy.

Glad we got that out of the way and no longer excited about it.

Funny how these BN politicians think, that we would vote for them, follow them even, to reciprocate for the lucre they dish out in every election campaign.

Not even for instant noodles.

We the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) have not made many promises save a few. None have come true of course. Yet, it is not something we will give willy-nilly just to take back a seat or two.

Because we know the people want more than instant gratification (no?). They want liberty, equality and fraternity... and let's not forget some profanity.

However, we have to stop politicians from cunning linguistics, the same kind found in Animal Farm that turned four legs good, two legs bad into four legs good, two legs better!

Because even in that parody of communism, Orwell could tell that one day, all animals are equal can have the addendum, but some animals are more equal than others.

And that, lads and ladettes, is One Malaysia. Follow it at your own peril.

The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) meanwhile, will stick to its own party.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Cabinets and Excess Baggage Room

Folks, we are a bit, let's just say, worried.

One, too few visitors here. Have we offended you? We are no longer serious? You tell us.

The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) does not only promise to change but has changed. From now on, we don't accept any more new members or readers.

So begone.

Two, the putative prime minister Najib Abdul Razak has just formed a 'lean and mean' cabinet that is just two short of the former list of ministers but two more than the old cohort of deputy ministers.

So take out two here, add two there and voila! you have a 'lean and mean' cabinet. Must be all that science and mathematics in English that has us confused.

Many have spoken about this new Najib Administration and the power-behind-the-throne, so to speak. They speak not of a Cabinet but of an excess baggage room of those who might, let's just say, not have any personality, integrity and some kind of gritty.

The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) knows it can do better. With the five of us in Parliament, we can form a better, leaner and meaner Cabinet than the tail end of R.A.H.M.A.N. can ever do.

We have sliced and diced the ministries to five. The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) knows it just takes five to make One Malaysia, One This , One That and One-something-or-other.

The most important ministry deals with money, industry and all things finance. We have named this MILF - Ministry of Money, Inefficiency, Looting and Frauds.

The second deals with education, information, religion, welfare and the pursuit of all things Malaysian. We call it after our hero's theory, MC2 - Ministry of Mind Control and Charlatans

The third deals with trade, policies, sports and everything in between. Its called CUP - Ministry of Cronyism and Unfair Policies.

The fourth ministry is for health, environment and the future of our country, the youth. Its named HEY - Health, Environment and Youth.

The fifth ministry is by far the most crucial and is headed by the prime minister, whom we have yet to nominate but most likely is the champion of champions, the caliph of caliphs, the maharani of SiPM (M), YB Minah Black. We call it the the Ministry of Prime Ministerial Services or PMS for short.

There you have it. Five people, five ministries, one country, one vision.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009


Faith. Altantuya. Race. King.

These are the four issues that cannot be raised within the confines of all political ceramahs for the three by-elections this April 7. Since the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) is not contesting any of the seats, we guess the ban does not apply to us.

So we can happily discuss them right here, right now. Of course you can too, outside ceramahs in Bukit Gantang, Bukit Selambau and Batang Ai. When the speakers make the sign, the listening crowd can shout Faith. Altantuya. Race. King or FARK for short.

You heard it right the first time.  Nothing in the law that stops you from using any word that you want to express yourself. And while at it, go ahead and use the word 'Allah' but not together, lah!

The thing is, the authorities are not too smart. Neither is the ruling government. What would possess them to ban such words or topics? Putting the lid to such issues will only make people talk more about it. 

Nothing better than something illicit.

No offence meant but there is no offence in speaking about any of these topics. It is not seditious but if you think that its not kosher, or halal, just shorten it and use the abbreviation to make our point that Malaysians have a right to discuss what others don't want them to discuss.

Can a Mongolian who is dead not be an issue in any elections even if she has never been there? Are instant noodle projects still the rage in election campaigns? Do the police think people are stupid?

The latest action has just resurrected the ghost of Altantuya Shaariibuu just as the country changes prime ministers. Lost political baggages have now been found in the conveyor belt of scandals and stories.

Yes, banning the dead just brings them back alive. Saying it isn't so is as good as saying it is so.

So let's say it once and for all.  Say her name loud and proud. Or just say FARK! It sounds better.