Sunday, December 31, 2006

SiPM New Year Address: The Sacrifice

Firstly I would like to wish all the Muslims a blessed Aidul-Adha, and may this year's festivities bring you closer to God's grace and closer to the very essence of our being; our destiny.

Despite SiPM's young age, we have grown from strength to strength and are constantly finding new ways to bring a new spin to politics, seriousness disguised in a more tongue-in-cheek and humorous manner.

And with sending our Ketua Biro Dakwah, Dek Mat, to video courses, SiPM is poised to incorporate the latest forms of multimedia technology to our political outreach.

That is our destiny: to provide Malaysians entertaining and yet thought provoking views that could challenge our minds that has been long beleaguered by decades of negative, narrow and mind-numbing dogma.

Only when we are able to free ourselves from these dogmatic chains will we be able to finally make that necessary sacrifice to make our country a better place.

What is that necessary sacrifice?

That sacrifice is for us to do the right thing.

The right thing.

The new year of 2007 will indeed be more challenging than 2006.

It will be the year of campaigning for elections that is poised to take place some time in 2008.

There will be rumours, lies, deceits and accusations thrown around and SiPM will attempt to show you the difference between the shit and the real shiznit.

Sometimes it will be just plain funny. At othertimes it will make you feel sick in the stomach, stirring emotions that you thought you could never have.

Sometimes we would give you the untold facts, sometimes show you the facts in between the lines, sometimes we'd use some subliminal way to show you the facts that no one wants you to see.

Most of the times you would know it already, life sometimes has a strange way of making us not see things that are obvious.

That's is when we need a little jolt.

All this just so that maybe you could think for while to do the right thing.

That is to vote for SiPM.

Have a merry celebration and a Happy New Year!

YB Maya Minah Black
MP for Kawasan 000 - Tempat Maya
Chief Whip for SiPM

P.S. Look out for my new Wednesday specials this New Year: The Chief Whips Wednesday!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Soul Sacrifice

Twas many days after Christmas Eve and many were sacrificed:

  1. Our internet connection was sacrificed as we did not have an alternative internet route to the route as it was compromised by
  2. The Taiwan Earthquake scored 7.1 on the Richter Scale and what goes out to them are our condolences and warm hearts
  3. That was warmed by sacrificial bottles of 5 Glenfiddich, a bottle of 17 yr old Islay Blend, a Royal Salute and a bottle of Glenmorangie, 2 bottles of Chivas Regal, 2 bottles of Smirnoffs, 5 bottles of wine, 2 bottles of champagne, countless other whiski sodas, vodka redbulls, tequilla and vodka shots - if I was a pagan, Dionysus must have been pleased
  4. and so SiPM sacrificed a few days of posts to be in merriment breaking more fatwas
  5. Ten of thousands sacrificed their homes when the South of our nation was hit by the worst floods ever and now emergency teams are on stand-by for a second wave of floods and
  6. Saddam Hussein will be sacrificed on the altar of democracy
Now Christmas has passed and we reflect on the Muslim celebration of Aidul-Adha, where it is customary for many Muslims to sacrifice animals such as goats, cows, camels, bulls in the name of God.

As Menj tries to explain in his blog:
Why do Muslims sacrifice an animal on this day?

During the celebration of Eid al-Adha, Muslims commemorate and remember Abraham's trials, by themselves slaughtering an animal such as a sheep, camel, or goat. This action is very often misunderstood by those outside the faith.

Allah has given us power over animals and allowed us to eat meat, but only if we pronounce His name at the solemn act of taking life. Muslims slaughter animals in the same way throughout the year. By saying the name of Allah at the time of slaughter, we are reminded that life is sacred.

But I think he misses the point a little, and we believe in what the Qur'an states:
"The Holy Quran says, "Neither their flesh nor their blood reaches Allah, but it is your devotion and piety which reaches Him (22:37)"
Devotion and piety is a way for us to sacrifice our soul to the Almighty, and I leave you on that note with a majestic and timeless music video by Carlos Santana and his Band performing the Soul Sacrifice at Woodstock '69

Eid Mubarak!

Woodstock 69 - Santana - Soul Sacrifice

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Week That Wanked By: 18th-25th Dec 2006

Welcome to the new weekly specials The Week That Wanked.

We were supposed to have posted this yesterday but we were far too busy breaking fatwas just as Pak Lah and Iranian President did too.

Here, SiPM will highlight to our loyal readers the discussions that our members have participated in various blogs.

We will start with Dek Mat's cheeky question to Anwar Ibrahim asking the man if he has joined keAdilan as there were rumours that he is not even a member and was on a perpetual state of readiness to rejoin UMNO. A cheeky answer was given and a cheeky answer was replied.

Monsterblog is another popular site that SiPM loves to stalk as they highlight many issues that NST carries as its main news.

The first piece of main news we would like to highlight to you was the new KL Mayor's decision to impose levies during peak hours to come into KL. Mat Merah replied that levies do not necessarily work as Jakarta has already enforced it without much effect. He proposed among others that parking fees be raised and stronger enforment on double parking.

At SiPM we do care about the state of the civil service and when the Monsterblog highlighted the same and also about increase of the number of people in the civil service and pay hikes Mat Merah said that we need to slash the civil service by half and spend the savings on the rest.In fact he said it twice and even dedicated a special post on the state of the civil service.

Yes Mat Merah can be funny but he can be quite ranty too. He demonstrated this par excellence in a comment at Mage P's Lab by calling on all Malaysians to change for the better.

This change is echoed at Aisehman where he notes that Malaysians, especially online Malaysians, have digressed into lesser beings.

At SiPM we take pride in our camaderie and teamwork is the best way to send any messages across! At the _earthinc, this was demonstrated with zealousness. However, a point to note here is that we are not there to defend Pak Lah, but to defend the seat of the Prime Minister who has been unfairly badgered and accused to not doing enough for the flood victims.

Lastly, we would like to end this with a tribute to the late James Brown, who passed away on Christmas Day yesterday. If you want to make yourself Feel Good too, vote Siber Party of Malaysia (M)!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Raise a glass for everyone

Worst ever floods in Johor, Malacca, Negri Sembilan, Pahang, Kelantan. No rain, we get haze. Too much rain, we get floods. We just can't win, can we ?

Rescuers turn into entreprenuers. And they didn't need an SMI/SME loan either.

KL gets new automatic toilets. Chef glad his hands are washed automatically.

Old mansions being torn down. It's being ReeBok'ed as luxury service apartments.

People not getting the women they bought. Can't they take it to the Consumer Claims Tribunal ?

747 skids off the runway at KLIA on Thursday. Where was the press ?

Do They Know It's Christmas Time ?

Well, thank God it's them instead of you. For who else can help us, but the Dynamic Duo ?

All images from KickDeFella

Merry Christmas from Mamak Mydeen's.

And this is Christmas

It is a wet and miserable Christmas for Malaysians! Especially the flood victims in the various parts of the country.

Our prayers are with them.

It is not the time to castigate the authorities and add a racial slant but time to help those affected by the floods and ensure the rains will not further deluge Malaysia.

It is time for all Malaysians to help one another.

And as the year winds down, the blogosphere. kopitiams, mamak shops and tea-stalls will resound with hope, mumbles and grumbles on everything Malaysia! So,

* for those who complain about rising toll charges, remember those who don't even have roads let alone expressways in their neighbourhoods.

* for those who complain about sucky Internet speed, remember those who don't even have either personal computers or access to the Internet.

* for those who complain about a lack of money and rising costs, remember those who don't even have any money.

* for those who complain about life and its travails, remember those not with us anymore!

The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) hopes that all Malaysians will join its efforts to make for a better Malaysia.

It is up to all of us! So, vote for the Siber Party of Malaysia (M).

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Global Orgasm Day!

Friends, today is the Winter Solstice and also Global Orgasm Day!

Enough said! Get on with it!

Come with Peace! And then vote for the Siber Party of Malaysia (M).

Kulliyah Jumaat: Syurga dan Neraka di Tangan Tuhan

Syukur kepada yang Maha Kuasa kerana kita dapat bersua kembali dalam Kulliyah Jumaat minggu ini. Topik kita minggu ini adalah sambungan dari Kulliyah pertama mengenai Hal-Hal Murtad.

Baru baru ini negara kita dilanda perbahasan dan perbezaan pendapat mengenai hak seseorang berugama, terutamanya jika seseorang itu seorang Melayu dan ingin memurtadkan dirinya.

Ramai yang berpendapat bahawa murtad dari Islam adalah haraam dan hukum bunuh adalah wajib keatas seseorang murtad.

Tetapi apa yang saya hairan ialah Nabi Muhammad tidak pernah menghukum bunuh kepada sesiapa yang murtad.

Tetapi kita telah mempelajari bahawa pada masa itu ramai diantara golongan Yahudi yang keluar masuk Islam semata-mata untuk mengaut keuntungan lebih dengan menjual barangan mereka kepada saudara Islam dan apabila perniagaannya menurun kembalilah Yahudi itu ke pangkuan Torahnya.

Nabi Muhammad tidak pernah menghukum bunuh Yahudi tersebut.

Kita cuma ada hadith hadith yang meng-iakan hukum bunuh murtad tetapi nas hadith-hadith tersebut kerap diragui.

Tetapi ramai juga diantara kita akan menanyakan soalan cepu emas, "Tetapi hukum bunuh murtad telah dilaksanakan oleh Saydina Umar telah menghukum bunuh murtad manakala Saydina Abu Bakat telah memerangi kelompok-kelompok yang telah murtad beramai-ramai?"

Kepada mereka yang menanyakan soalan tersebut, saya ingin mengajak untuk merenungi kembali khutbah terakhir Nabi Muhammad, dimana dia telah meningatkan kita bahawa dengan peninggalannya Qu'ran and Sunnah dijadikan panduan supaya kita tidak tersesat.

Sunnah bukan hanya bermaksud hadith, tetapi juga tingkah laku dan contoh dari Nabi dalam menangani sesuatu masaalah.

Dalam khutbah tersebut, Nabi tidak pernah sesekali mengarahkan umatnya supaya mendengar membabi-buta arahan Khalifah Ar-Rasyiduun.

Kembali ke akhir zaman kita sekarang, ramai diantara kita ingin 'memperbetulkan' orang-orang yang murtad tetapi adakah kita sedar bahawa memaksa orang kembali ke pangkal jalan adalah sia-sia belaka?

Jika Lina Joy and Kamariah Ali dipaksa kembali ke Islam, ikhlaskah hati mereka?

Dengan memaksa mereka kita telah mempersendakan tiang paling utama Islam - untuk menyerahkan diri kepada yang Maha Kuasa.

Semalam mahkamah Syariah di Kuala Lumpur telah membuat keputusan untuk tidak memberi kebenaran kepada si suami untuk paksa-kenalpasti ugama isterinya. Hakim Zulfikri Yasoa berkata "hanya Jabatan Islam atau individu tersebut berhak memastikan sama ada mereka masih Muslim atau tidak."

Dengan itu, kita harus menerima hak individu Lina Joy dan Kamariah Ali untuk menyatakan bahawa mereka bukan lagi Muslim

Syurga dan Neraka adalah didalam tangan Tuhan jua, bukan didalam tangan manusia.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Dear Mat Rempit Hubris

The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) thanks you for your reply, Mat Rempit hubris from Carthage.

Hubris. Carthage. Impressive.

Before we go any further, our books on media studies state that most do not read beyond the first five paragraphs of any article.

Mat Rempit read a further two and then stopped. Figure that out.

We in the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) do not draw the distinction between low level staff and those in the higher echelons of the civil service in our drive to raise productivity with the most efficient and effective staff deployment and technology.

Something which the current government is trying to do but with little effectiveness.

However, your reply suggests that the Malaysian Civil Service is a giant welfare system to support those, as you said, people from low productivity sectors. Pray tell, why would terminating them transfer them to zero productivity sectors.

You mean they won't want to work anymore?

You mean they are really the parasites to the system as you disingenously suggested we meant?

Come on, Mat Rempit! Trimming the civil service to have only the most essential of staff well-versed in information communication technology that are paid well will free up funds for development and business.

Those who are terminated from the Malaysian Civil Service will get severance pay and with grit, determination, effort and training, transform themselves to entrepreneurs in the various development projects around the nation.

We do understand that those in the higher echelons will probably get more money than those in the other sectors but do remember, those young, fit and able, can always apply for transfers to other department in dire need of staff including the police force, fire brigade and medical services.

The world is their oyster. Do you want to condemn them to only working in low-productivity sectors as you claimed they are in right now? And why did you think of the gulags?

Most Malaysians have had it so good that they think a job in the civil service is an entitlement. We do not think so. Taxes from a section of Malaysians - the rich to you - pay for the salaries of those in the civil service.

Most low income - heck, those who earn less than 2,500 ringgit a month - do not pay any taxes. We do not think they are lazy but we are sure that they would want to earn more, aside from the ignominy of paying taxes.

The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) is committed to ensuring a Malaysia promised by the Father of Independence Tunku Abdul Rahman. where every Malaysian under the sun can go as far as they want too without any impedance.

Peace and Prosperity - with respect to all - is our aim. What is yours?

Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 18, 2006

The Silly Season

The seasons are turning and here we are, in the silly season where everyone wants something from Santa Claus.

Consider this.

Malaysia's 1.2 million strong civil service - through the main union CUEPACS - is asking for up to 40 percent pay raise and reckon they need another 200,000 comrades by 2020 to serve the nation of more than 30 million then.

We won't waste time and space to rant and rave about their work. We do agree that there are sectors that could do with more people and with more pay. We also agree that we have to cut the crap from the service.

While we have written and commented on this matter at other blogs, let us state our stand on improving the Malaysian Civil Service through the expert use and allocation of technology and manpower resources.

First, let's agree that the 1.2 million-strong civil service is a bit too much. By the way, CUEPACS reportedly has only 120,000 members. So we shall let them protect their members.

Our proposal is to slash the civil service by HALF, especially the administrative back-end that probably has more tea than the combined efforts of the tea-loving nation of England.

So, let's cut out the peons, dispatch boys, office boys, clerks, low-level officers that crowd around the canteen rather than do work at their desks. Let us automate their work through technology - using emails to communicate and to send files through the Internet.

We can also terminate the enforcement units of various departments and authorities in the Civil Service - such as the anti-khalwat squads, the traffic wardens and enforcement officers - most of whom are obese astride their powerful motorcycles.

Who are they chasing? Motorists who don't pay their parking tickets or those who litter? Do they need motorcycles for that? Let's just put up more wireless cameras that focus on the job rather than on thighs.

We can dispatch those assistant deputy directors and principal assistant directors and such out of the system and instead concentrate on beefing up the ranks of the medical service, the police, the fire brigade to ensure a safe, secure and healthy nation.

And yes, we can then double their pay - that's 50 percent more - of those remaining in the civil service.

You might ask about those terminated, dispatched and cut out of the service? Well, we won't be paying to keep them on the job doing nothing. They can use their severance pay to do whatever they want - either joining the ruling political parties to wave their kerises to writing blogs that lament their loss and castigate the powers-that-be. We won't name and shame them.

Of course, there are other ways to cut costs which we will table soon. So vote for the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) to get us to implement this programme. It is for a better Malaysia.

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 16, 2006

UMNO Sleeping Beauties

It sure has been a while since I updated anything.

But never fear, I am now back with a vengeance!

The General Elections are just around the corner and SiPM has decided to send me to a video producing course so that we can step up our ante in our propaganda... err I mean information dissemination methods!

This video is inspired after the UMNO GA recently and we hope that it inspires you to the right thing:

VOTE SiPM!!! =)

Have a great weekend people!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The 12 days of Christmas

We have been quiet, trying to get ready, for Christmas!

You know, that celebration that is now so politically-correct that it cannot be mentioned by some governments across the world, including the United Kingdom.

Well, that is their loss. Season's Greetings indeed! How low can one go in the era of political correctness.

Imagine receiving a card that says this:-

A Politically Correct
Christmas Greeting

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all;

Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

Well, that would just kill it for us here at the Siber Party of Malaysia (M). We want to reclaim Christmas as the celebration to end all celebrations, bar New Year's of course!

In the pursuit of such lofty aims - and apart from drinking our way into 2007 - let us present to our loyal members, the following public service annoucement.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 01, 2006

Kulliyah Jumaat: Sex, Penipuan dan Video

Support World AIDS Day

Kita bertemu semula untuk satu lagi Kulliyyah Jumaat.

Hari ini adalah Hari AIDS sedunia dan masyarakat sedunia ingin memperhebatkan lagi jihad menentang kemaraan penyakit pembunuh ini.

Mereka telah mengenal pasti 5 gagasan bagaimana kita sebagai insan biasa boleh memikul tanggungjawab dan memainkan peranan yang berkesan untuk membendung peningkatan HIV.

Rakyat Malaysia amnya masih lagi jahil dan pada hemat saya ada cara lagi berkesan untuk mereka membendung peningkatan wabak AIDS di negara kita:

  1. Kepada yang sering (tak kisahlah kalau dah kahwin ke atau bujang) bertidur-tiduran dengan berbagai jenis manusia (dan haiwan), pakailah kondom, kalau tidak nanti anunya boleh jadi sakit.
  2. Kepada yang hisap dadah, tolonglah beli jarum sendiri. Kalau boleh beli dadah mesti boleh beli jarum sendirikan? Kalau ada member nak pinjam jarum, pinjamkan dia duit suruh beli jarum sendiri. Boleh bayar balik nanti dengan dadah pun ok.
  3. Yang ni bab paling penting: kalau dah kena HIV tu, jangan la pulak nak main share-share jarum, tutuh sana sini tak pakai kondom. Cakap kat suami/isteri yang you dah kena HIV. Nanti naya partner dan anak-anak tersayang nanti. Kerana jahil tentang bab ni lah yang menjadi sebab peningkatan ketara kes HIV/AIDS di Malaysia
Macam lagu lagu Jamrud yang kami tunjuk sebelum ini: PAKAI LAH KONDOM.

Kita juga telah hari ini dipamerkan dengan bermacam-macam video yang selalunya tidak memberi gambaran yang sebenar. Video-video sengaja dipamerkan untuk mengapi-apikan lagi semangat kita.

Video yang saya maksudkan ialah video robohnya surau Kampung Berembang.

Saya ingin mengingatkan semua bahawa surau yang didirikan atas tanah milik orang lain tanpa kebenaran adalah haraam.

Mari kita renungkan fakta yang ada.
  1. Kampung Berembang adalah kampung setinggan - maka tanah tersebut bukan milik penduduk kampung tersebut
  2. MPAJ telah membuat satu penempatan alternative untuk penduduk Kg Berembang tapi masih belum siap
  3. Tetapi MPAJ telah mengarahkan penduduk untuk tinggal di Taman Muhibbah, Puchong, or Taman Wahyu, Jinjang buat sementara waktu sehingga rumah kos rendah di Kg Berembang di bangunkan dapat pampasan lagi RM1200. Sewa free.
  4. Dari 51 keluarga yang protes 45 keluarga menbangunkan rumah setinggan mereka secara haraam.
  5. Tuan tanah pun ada hak ke atas tanah
So macam mana? Walaupun kita bersimpati dengan penduduk Kg Berembang tetapi mereka sudah mempunyai banyak pilihan untuk meneruskan kehidupan masing masing.

Jadi tamatlah Kulliyah Jumaat untuk hari ini dan untuk mengimbas kembali apa yang kita boleh belajar dari kedua-dua cerita Jumaat ini ialah 1) JANGAN LUPA PAKAI KONDOM dan 2) JANGAN TINGGAL DIRUMAH SETINGGAN.

Jumpa lagi minggu depan!