Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Will the Boobs go bust?


The Malaysian stock market is sagging like my grandmama's boobs. That ain't a pretty sight, darlings, especially when she used to clap, err squash, my face to her ample bosom.

Gag me with a spooooooooooon! Anna Nicole Smith she ain't.

Ok dudes,like get your mind on track and back to the local bourse where the main index dipped, like by some six percent in morning trade February 28 after those awesome overnight falls in the Chinese and North American bourses

Yes, like when China sneezes, everyone else gets a cold. Way funny! The dudes and dudettes said the same thing about bird flu! Dweeb! No one is original anymore!

Sooooooo, anyways, reactions are sketchy but swift.

My Baldwin colleagues, dishy boys they are, Mat Merah and Dek Mat commented as much over at my favourite greenie the_earthinc who had speculated that Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's joke-of-a-coalition should dissolve my favourite pad and call for elections. As if!

Guess Pak Lah's comments on the market index KLCI hitting 1,350 point got all excited and now its biting back at him and those who took that line to get into the market. Well duh!

Like, okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! One swallow does not a summer make! Fer sure!

It's like markets across the world, dude! And heck, it ain't an indicator of the economy, but like, the arguments continue on the state of the economy. Sweet!

Like what I think? Well, while I was vegging out, Britney went bald and Anna like, expired! And the markets went crazy! Not saying that its, like, connected or what, but heck, think its a blip and just fodder for the media and uhhhhhhhhh, those bored with contemplating their navels!

Its gross! Like everyone is going postal over the market! Like they have money tied up there! I'm so sure.

Twistin' and shoutin', that's all gurlz! These boobs won't go bust just yet!


Monday, February 26, 2007


AKOK Up. Puns and inferences intended.

The Malaysian Censorship Board, in their infinite wisdom, have banned Apa Khabar Orang Kampung (AKOK) by filmmaker Amir Muhammad. The board had also banned Amir's other movie The Last Communist.

It would appear that the board, government-appointed moral guardians and known as C-Section within the Home Ministry (We wonder why? Must be the scissor-happy hands that they seem to have in cutting up movies!) have a bias against other views of Malaysian history.

We wonder why? This is the 50th anniversary of Malaysia's Merdeka and we want to know or at least watch, listen or read all records and views of our road to independence. Not just the official history written by the powers-that-be.

Or is that too much to ask? Or to do?

Is this thought-control? Just like the official sort of puritanical Islam that we have to practise? Or to fly the flag - which they have named Jalur Gemilang - in the run-up to Merdeka? Or to continue to vote for development and progress and all that corruption it comes along with?

No. We think otherwise.

We say No to this cock-up.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

A Lesson in Teaching

My favourite cartoon strip Graffiti came up with another gem of a quote: "Good teachers cost more, but not as much as bad teachers"

It is applaudable that our Deputy Prime Minister Najib has stated the government initiative to study the increase allowances from RM500-RM1500 for experienced teachers to teach in rural areas.

But at SiPM we wonder how did these figures actually come to form? From the looks of his statement even the policy seems to have appeared out of the thin air.

Firstly, why do have to send experienced teachers to the rural areas?

If we look at the situation carefully, what is lacking in the rural areas are good teachers.

Last year, we already outlined SiPM's plan to reduce the civil service by half and put money to where is most needed. Education is definitely is one of those sectors.

SiPM would actually do it differently. All those young teachers whom we've spent hundreds of thousands of ringgit on scholarship will no have to soend a ccmpulsory 3 year posting in rural areas as part of their national service within the education system.

This applies as well to experienced teachers whom we've sent to further their studies in Masters and/or Doctorate Programs (be it for academic reasons or promotional to administrative witthin the Ministry).

The extra allowance will NOT be applied. Heck, they'd be making at least twice as much money under the SiPM administration and they'd be saving all that money too as housing will be provided and the standard of living is significantly lower then urban areas.

But as a carrot, we will make TM and/or ASTRO to provide free/basic satellite broadband services and of course satellite TV for free (as part of their Universal Service Obligations) to these rural schools for the teachers, students and the community to leverage on.

Teachers are the hope of students to learn things after all ;)

Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Silly Season II

'Tis another silly season.

Just two months after the silly season, several bloggers and the usual detractors are now on the Malaysian government's back over economic figures which are allegedly being spun ahead of possible snap polls.

We won't go into the recent economic data that has been spun and unspun by all but we want to point out that all the data presented over the past few weeks is incomplete.

The reality is of course, the figures trumpeted by the government and the mass media look very good but do not give an accurate picture or even snapshot of the overall economy. No one to blame except the rather shallow research by all involved.

The Malaysian mass media and by extension - even those with a bit of intelligence to operate a computer connected to the Internet and actually know how to search using Google and other search engines are not utilising every resource to get the relevant statistics and data.

So let's put everyone out of their misery and point to three resources that can help in dissecting the Malaysian economy - the Department of Statistics and Bank Negara Malaysia and also the Economic Planning Unit in the Prime Minister's Department.

Armed with those statistics, one can then actually work out the state of the Malaysian economy. You can also wait for Bank Negara Malaysia when it announces Malaysia's fourth quarter GDP for 2006 on February 28.

Truth is, the economy is doing well.

Malaysia is experiencing greater two-way trade. More Malaysians are being employed than ever before. Annual wage bills have gone up with more people in the workforce.

But the man-in-the-street, whether in downtown Kuala Lumpur or in the Bario highlands, could do with a bit more money in the pocket. That is not happening right now. Wages are not exactly surging in tandem with either inflation or fluctuations due to global price rises.

Subsidies are being abused, either by those reselling subsidised fuel or sugar to other industries or smugglers. Grants and aid are stuck at bottlenecks, either only through Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's ruling coalition legislators or his own party's division level chiefs.

Also, Malaysians particularly in urban areas are spending their shrinking disposal income on items unheard of years ago - expanding mobile phone bills, food and beverages outside home, urban toll charges etc.

For example, that cup of Starbucks Java Chip costs 10 times more than iced coffee at the coffeeshop.

Of course, you get wifi access but is that worth it? And that computer laptop or pda or Ipod wasn't part of the road warrior's arsenal 10 years ago. Let alone the ringtone downloads.

So yes, Malaysia is doing well. Malaysians are not doing that well.

And that is quite silly, isn't it?

No Kongsi Gong Xi This Year

It's nice to have Kuala Lumpur quiet once in awhile.

The weather is not too hot and not too wet. It's weird when you would actually welcome an overcast.

But yes, the weather has been too hot and too wet lately.

Yes it some weird Kongsi Weather phenomenon.

We at SiPM would rather have a Gong Xi Raya anytime rather than the weird weather duo of wet and hot.

That wet and hot combo should appear only on women on my bed! ;)

At SiPM we would like to wish all our readers a very prosperous New Year of the Pig, and

Remember, Don't Commit Corruption. It's a Sin. God Knows Best.

And now a short video message courtesy of SiPM, Channel V and Andy Lau...

Gong Xi Fa Chai!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

FACM - Fatwa Against Corruption Malaysia

Somewhere in Indonesia

FACM is pronounced as Fuck'em.

New York is unsually chilly tonight on Valentines day, it's probably because of cold winds blowing at 26mph... but as lovers return to their home for a hot amorous frenzy, we at SiPM want to deliver something hot to the Malaysian blogospere too.

On this day of mutual expressions of love, SiPM have prepared a special Fatwa.

It is not a Fatwa against the celebration of St Valentine but today at SiPM our sole Valentine wish goes especially to our most beloved, Malaysia.

We take heed from our brothers of the Muslim Brotherhood who called for a Fatwa on Corruption.

Reminiscing the lament from a Malaysian brother Kassim SA in June 20th 2006 (yes, we remember everything) who wrote to Malaysikini in disgust over Fatwas against celebrating festivals of other religions and was compelled to ask for a Fatwa on corruption, transparency, politeness, we at SiPM have listened and now will take steps to further promote this.

We want to take further steps from the 1st O.I.C. Anti Corruption And Enhancing Integrity Forum that was held here in Kuala Lumpur last August.

How dare the other Ulamaks tell us not to celebrate Valentines when they themselves have failed to address the problem of corruption?

Today the Grand Muffti of SiPM issues the Fatwa against Corruption.

In the Book revealed to Humanity as a guide, God orders Muslims to acquire an excellence in ethical and moral behavior. Islamic morality rests on values such as peace, tolerance, mercy or compassion.

The Holy Book reminds Muslims they are responsible before God for their behavior and treatment of all peoples; whether they are also Muslim or not.

In this sense, Muslims are forced to seek out good for themselves, their families, their neighbors and society in general.
"Do good unto others as God has done unto you; and do not wish to plant the seeds of corruption upon Earth, for God does not love those who sow corruption ". (28:77).
Muslims, therefore, are not only forbidden from committing crimes against innocent people, but are responsible before God to stop those people who have the intention to do so, since these people "are planting the seeds of corruption on Earth".
"For those who persevere in doing good, the supreme good awaits them. Their faces will not be overshadowed by darkness or humiliation (in the Day of the Judgment). They are destined to Paradise, where they will reside (eternally)". (10:26).
Remember, that God has spoken of punishment against those are trangressors of His will
"Know they not that whoever opposes and shows hostility to Allah and His Messenger (SAW), certainly for him will be the Fire of Hell to abide therein. That is extreme disgrace." (9:63)
Verily those who commit corruption will be disgraced in this world and in the Hereafter.

Heretofore we declare in good faith the following resolution:

1. That Islam rejects corruption in all its manifestations, it is HARRAAM.

2. Corruption in all manisfesations are but not limited to bribery (offering and taking), siphoning the Citizen's money be it for personal or political party use, lying to the public, cheating the public, pushing 'files' further down the pile in the absence of coffee money, abuse of authority and government machinery. They are all HARRAAM.

3. That if these acts are committed as they are HARRAM it will be a great sin and will be punishable by God and may be sent to HELL.

4. We call upon all religious personalities (especially the Mufti of Perlis) , all citizens of Malaysia from all walks of life, race and religion, political affiliations (yes even Jeff Ooi, RockyBru and Kickdefella) to join us in this Fatwa and to spread the word to ALL that CORRUPTION IS HARAAM and is punishable by HELLFIRE.

This sin must be denounced with force by the wise people and leaders of Islam worldwide.

5. That the duty of every Muslim is to fight actively against corruption, in accordance with the Koranic mandate that establishes the obligation to prevent corruption from overtaking the Earth.

Based on what has been exposed, it comes to dictate :

That according to the Sharia, all who commit corruption faces Hellfire!

As long as there are Muslims who commit corruption they are Kaffirs and should not be considered Muslim nor be treated as such.

To which we declare that all who commit corruption are outside the parameters of Islam; and the same goes to all who wield the Sacred Koran and The Prophet's Sunna to commit terrorist acts.

Based on this fatwa, we request the government and parties in power and Malaysian mass to highlight all activities of this great sin and punish wrongdoers of this sin with greatest impunity.

Don't Commit Corruption. It's a Sin. God Knows Best.

Dek Mat
Grand Muffti and Head of Da'awah Bureau
Siber Party of Malaysia (M)

Monday, February 12, 2007

The Weeks That Wanked By: 15th Jan - 12 February 2007 Erroneous Ejaculation

The Weeks really wanked by so fast.

So fast that it almost seemed like premature ejaculation.

But it's like watching the same porn all over again and again. You just wanna get off quick and get on with your lives.

And yes, the blogosphere has been like old porn.

More narrowminded Malaysians, goverment conspiracies to repress bloggers, more kickdefella-rockybru-jeffooi-walkwithus puerile.

And the usual spunk that accuses SiPM to be a 4th Floor Alliance. Funny comment coming from a wanker that tried to whore hits from this site.

It makes me sick.

They say that too much wanking can make you sick.

But there was some consolation.

PAS-ultra MENJ has come up with a bet(challenge in our case) that anonymous wankers will not dare turn up at the Faking a Credible Opposition Program on March 3rd 2007.

So I've decided to take up the challenge.

But MENJ will probably decline the challenge with some ULTRA-PAS lame excuse. The usual.

But I hope he accepts it. RM6,000 is a hell lotta money for more new porn.

Like this one. err maybe not like this one.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Tunku Abdul Rahman

Today February 8 is Tunku Abdul Rahman's 104th birthday.

He passed away on December 6, 1990 and left behind the legacy of independence for Malaysia and freedom to pursue our dreams for a better place under the sun. He was the self-declared "happiest prime minister of the world". (Correction: "happiest prime minister in the world")

Don't think any other Malaysian prime minister can lay claim to that title anymore. One continues to grumble while the other tends to fumble.

More than the man who led us to Independence and cried out Merdeka seven times in Stadium Merdeka on August 31, 1957, Tunku Abdul Rahman was humble and a regular person like us - the typical laid-back Malaysian with a great sense of right and wrong and a penchant for life's pleasures.

Is Malaysia where he thought it would be 50 years after independence?

Were the ideals of the young nation of Malaya metamorphising into Malaysia six years later the same ideals we cherish and pursue?

We wonder! And invite your thoughts on this matter as day turns to night and our thoughts turn to the Tunku and Merdeka.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Protesting Posers

Sometimes I wonder if we do really have genuine protesters at public demonstrations or are they simply professional demonstrators for hire?

Or even are they some twisted human beings who just love the smell and the taste of sweat or, in some cases where the demonstrations are illegal, the pepper spray?

Let's look at these two pictures.

Both are posted on Screenshots.

One is dated January 15th 2007 and the other February 4th 2007.

I guess spinners, be they mainstream newspapers or bloggers have to be careful with what they say or in this case, with which photos they put us.

As you know, a picture paints a thousand words, the two thousand words I get from these two pictures look somewhat suspicious and orchestrated.

While it's been said that these couple could be having two children with special needs, using the pictures wrongly could prove detrimental to them.

If it's true that they are hard hit by the tolls while taking care of their children with special needs, then the story must be carried out by those who took the pictures in the first place, highlighting their plight.

Otherwise their plight would be lost in all that demo noise.

That after all is part and parcel of responsible blogging, yes?

Blogging is not just all about rants and flaming posts...

Sunday, February 04, 2007

We have no hats

The dust of the past fortnight has settled. This is partly due, of course, to the agreement reached by all parties to not discuss the civil action against the two bloggers. We at Siber Party of Malaysia (M) will not discuss the lawsuit either.

In fact, we have never discussed the facts of the lawsuit proper. We have been consistent in suggesting that this is all about two rights colliding, and that the allegedly defamed have a right to sue just as the two bloggers have the rights to publish. While we have been accused of throwing our hats on the side of the NST for our stance, it's quite clear that this has never been the case if you've read our postings here and our comments on the various blogs. But it touched a nerve somewhere, for we got banned for what we said. By the freedom fighters themselves.

Within this scope though, the spin which we've highlighted has taken a course of its own. What once started off as a fight for freedom of speech, is now taking a new spin as a protest against the present administration. It does seem, reading the latest round of postings on the blogs, that this is now converging into an indictment of the present Prime Minister's short term in office with various hats being thrown in the respective corners. We are not surprised, given that the signs were there for about a week. It's all in the banner image. And they will all have been there at the Helang Room, Legends Hotel for a press conference by Tun Mahathir Mohamad.

The spin is also spinning another yarn. Now it's about responsibility in blogging. Marina Mahathir, who has agreed that our comments on Kickdefella were not inflammatory, has a good entry on this. The spin seems to be saying that bloggers are responsible as long as they publish their names and are not anonymous. Mydeen wonders if this is a license to then go on to wage personal wars and to suggest insinuations without supporting evidence ?

Mentera.Org, who we have firmly denied being, had a post where our anonymity was questioned. Now, the semi-anonymous chaps behind Mentera.Org do sometimes write stuff which we find quite palatable. We however feel that being identified is just one part of responsible blogging. Walking with a mask does not mask the message, if the message itself is important.

The message shouldn't be coloured by the perceptions of the messenger. If it comes to that, it should be about shooting the message, and never about shooting the messenger. Which is why we think that if more oppresive laws like the Sedition Act were used, that would be tantamount to curtailing freedom of speech and expression and shooting the messenger. Instead, this is about blog entries which are allegedly defamatory and not the entire blog or the blog owner. It's about shooting the message, not the messenger.

Being anonymous, and still exuding a message of logic and reasoning doesn't take anything away from the message. It's only the snipers who do not analyse but rather post insinuations and insults which are abusing the freedoms the Internet provides for. And there are snipers abound, both anonymous and identified. Identity alone should not be a defence against such behaviour. The message should be one of fact and one which spurs change and progress. The ones who provide their opinions and analysis may lose some credibility because they are anonymous, but this shouldn't dilute the message itself.

We seek him here, we seek him there,
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
Is he in heaven? Is he in hell?
That demmed, elusive Pimpernel.

At the Siber Party of Malaysia (M), we are all men without hats. We seek to see things for what they are, and for upholding the rights of all citizens, big and small.

Yes, we can dance the safety dance if we want to. And we'll dance with everyone, even if your friends don't dance.