We are the first virtual political party of Malaysia. The (M) stands for maya. Maya means virtual. Yes, you're right, so does siber in Bahasa Malaysia. We just want you to be doubly sure that's all ;)
In the beginning - circa July 1981 - the Lord made Malaysia. And advanced time by 30 minutes.
The Lord then named and tagged the servants. And announced a clean, efficient and trustworthy government. Right. The prodigal son returned and was made shepherd of the youth.
And thus began the era of openness but the Lord's right hand man quit for personal reasons. The Lord's brow darkened and he launched his epoch of submission.
He took an old man of the hill, if not worldly wise, as his new assistant to remake his paradise called Malaysia, from an agrarian state to another state of mind, with roads, towers and fake trees built on dirt swept under the carpet.
But the whitebeards and wigs were concerned with his world vision and complained. The Lord was agitated and took counsel to tar and feather them. Some came back and one later blew his brains out.
The prodigal son continued his ascent as he shepherded the youth and spoke in tongues. The Lord let him approach the burning bush and cast aside the old man of the hill. All was good.
The prodigal son prospered just as other brothers did too. For the meek shall inherit the earth while the powerful got everything else.
But the son was ambitious and the Lord was not pleased, and thus as William Shakespeare wrote of Julius Caesar in Act III, "As he was valiant, I honour him, as he was ambitious, I slew him."
The Lord then picked a pious man to manage Malaysia. But the pious man had a Snow White-like apple to keep him asleep at the wheel.
The Lord was happy. He left Malaysia to its own devices with followers happy for the future and then upset with the past and present.
The Lord then forgot he was no longer the lord. He forgot a lot of things. But he never forgot Malaysia.
Which means we see the return of the Lord. Isn't that an amazing grace from the Lord? To save us wretched souls like no other could?
Apart from infernal ramblings about Terengganu, with a conclusion which we cannot agree to but somehow, it is said and done, as the business of the government of the day is more important than quibbling with the palace.
But it still leaves a bitter taste to the concept of a government of the people, of the people and for the people. It would seem that we have closet royalists, monarchists and definitely feudal-minded politicians in the plethora of political parties in Malaysia.
In addition to that, now comes the maelstorm in the man-made monsoon called Malaysia.
Mahathir Mohamad, former prime minister and a trenchant critic of the present prime minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi - it would seem that Mahathir is true to form in following former premiers-turned-critics just like Tunku Abdul Rahman and Hussein Onn - said this
"Unless there is a frame-up, I think there should be nothing to pin on me. Even other accusations against me, including the dismissal of judges, were not my doing and I do not feel obliged to apologise. Ask the Tribunal to apologise."
It is telling that his letter came out in the The Sun, now majority-owned by his acolyte Vincent Tan whose lawyer V. Kanagalingam is the subject of a tribunal which saw some five of those involved becoming lawmakers after the March 8 polls.
And it shows one thing.
The man is unrepentant and will not take the blame for all that has happened in his time that has fouled, festered and fermented to the perfect storm of March 8, 2008 including, inter alia, - the inequal implementation of economic policies and increasing Islamisation, apart from clipping the powers of the royalty and keeping Malaysians in the shadow of fear.
Fifty years on, as we said, the people are finally independent, the palace is independent but the politicians of old indifferent and still spinning the same old songs.
All said and done, the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) salutes the people and to a certain extent, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, for breaking the mold and showing the fallibility of his inheritance.
Yesterday, Jeff Ooi showed his true colours by suggesting the new Information Minister Shabery Cheek who wanted to "listen to bloggers" to meet with Rocky who is the head honcho for All-Blogs.
What true colours, one might ask?
Jeff Ooi misrepresents the people he tries to represent. And it seems to me that Jeff Ooi has only joined the Democratic "Eksyen" Party.
I wrote in May 2007 about how All-Blogs was already misrepresenting bloggers. And at that time the committee promised to come out with a constitution for all of us to decide on whether All-Blogs could be relevant to the Malaysia blogosphere.
Almost one year down the road, All-Blogs has already failed to complete the most important foundation of any society and the most basic: the society's Constitution and of course, to have members.
Suddenly Jeff Ooi's track record on organisation does not look so good and I fear for Penang as Jeff Ooi is the new Chief of Staff for Lim Guan Eng.
However, such misrepresentation must stop! Otherwise we may have to punish people like Jeff Ooi by slapping his other cheek. Figuratively speaking and maybe literally too...
As some flip-flop, attention is still centred on the tiny oil-rich sultanate of Terengganu where the palace and the politicians walk a tightrope between amity and anarchy.
There is an impasse that will take time to solve. The Sultan of Terengganu, as King of Malaysia, cannot interfere in the state Regency Council which has decided to appoint a chief minister who apparently does not have the majority support in the incoming state assembly.
Woe also to the ruling party's candidate who does not enjoy the support of the palace. Or from fellow UMNO division leaders who have now unsheathed daggers for the greater love of power than party.
Is there recalcitrance at both sides? What about the people of Terengganu? Didn't they decide to vote in a party that represents them in a constitutional monarchy? Isn't there any respect for them and their choice?
While some take delight in the Barisan Nasional's fall from grace, one must take cognisance of one fact. The Constitution is supreme and not the person on the throne.
There is respect for the throne for it is one of the stakeholders in Malaysia but people will come and go but not the constitution and the principles that led to the founding of this nation.
The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) believes that the sultans can swing, as others who think Penang is just Pak Lah's state and not Anwar Ibrahim's state - all things rotting from the days when he was the state UMNO chief.
But yes, Mahathir Mohamad said it well, "Melayu mudah lupa!"
We don't! The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) believes in a government of the people, by the people and for the people! And we shall swing from the rafters in defending that principle!
Change is good. Change for the better even better.
But a change to the past where feudalism rules and where people swing to support the royalty and their decisions on our behalf plus their perceived infallibity is no change at all.
It is the impotence of being earnest for change without any idea or aim or objective or target but change itself.
Everyone in the four states have been earnest to make changes but have shown the impotence of such changes.
Terengganu is in for a showdown between the palace and the proletariat and in Perak, the new Menteri Besar looks set to be a palace pawn as is possibly the case in Perlis.
While those who claim to be liberals and can live without the NEP are upset with Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng for his strident pronouncement of doing away with parts of the NEP that lead to corruption, cronyism for a particular community but ensure a fair and transparent system for all.
Apart from the completely unnecessary scrapping of summonses and fines in Penang and Perlis together with Selangor doing away with charges for the first 20 cubic metres of water for households.
Its populism gone amok. And again, the impotence of being earnest.
The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) does not agree with such moves at the various states. We want a break from the past, a break from populism but a break towards a Malaysia with Malaysians finally independent after 50 years of independence.
We owe nothing to the palace or the politicians. We owe it to ourselves to have a government of the people, by the people and for the people.
Not for state rulers to decide on some whimsy to appoint their pawns or for politicians on some fancy to scrap fines or rates. We want substance not just sweet nothings like placebos to placate us.
We want - to borrow the words of Zaid Ibrahim - them to do the job, not keep the job!
Well, not really too fat, but definitely a little rounded. Mydeen should cut down on his daily intake of roti canai. Too big a belly and he won't be able to bow down and say, "Ampun, Tuanku" like Uncle Lim did.
But who wants to hear about Mydeen's dietary problems, today we were all on edge until Pak Lah announced his Cabinet. Well, maybe not a full cabinet. More like a small cupboard with it's greatly reduced membership partly because all Parliamentary Secretaries lost their jobs.
Yeah, it has been trimmed down, but then at 68 members, it is still about 50% of the 140 elected BN MPs which is about par for the course since in 2004 Pak Lah selected 91 BN MPs out of 198. Which means that close to 1 in every 2 BN parliamentarians would still be in the executive.
But today's posting isn't about the small cupboard. It's about blogs, who are now asking to be seen as accredited media. Mydeen spoke about this yesterday, when he said "And Oh, Fuck, the blogs are now going to think that they actually have reached the objectivity of a properly run news outlet.". Barely 3 and a half hours later, Zorro Unmasked demands that blogs have been vindicated and should be accredited media.
The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) asks, do they know what they are asking for and are they really ready for that ?
Being accredited media and operating like a proper entity of the Fourth Estate requires a lot of responsibility. It requires you to check your facts and not shoot off allegations and then demand that those allegations be proven wrong. Mydeen always believed that it's innocent until proven guilty, and that the accuser should provide the hard evidence of any accusations made, not the other way round.
It requires you to be able to stand up for what you have written, and not go crying to mommy when you are sued for publishing something without proper investigation. It requires you to be able to defend your allegations in court, for in doing so and winning, you would actually add to your credibility and integrity. Crying about freedoms of speech being denied just does not cut it, since the justice system in Malaysia allows for both sides to be heard. And yes, if bloggers want to be accredited media, then they must be ready to be sued and challenged on what they say, instead of censoring detractors.
It requires you to have some brakes, and some editorial policy for without it, there will be "No safety net. No brakes. No one there to question, doubt or inspire. No editor."
It requires you to give credit to your predecessors, the likes of M.G.G. Pillai and A. Ghani Ismail (aka Tok Guru), both of whom were taking advantage of internet publishing long before blogs even existed. Tun Mahathir may say "Melayu mudah lupa", but Mydeen says, "Bloggers mudah lupa" when they ignore the framework which was presented to them on a platter as they claim their supremacy in changing the political landscape.
It requires you to be honest and truthful in your agenda. There really is nothing wrong with being subjective and lopsided in your editorial policy, but in doing so, bloggers as accredited media have to be honest to their readers and declare their stand on issues.
Or as Greyman suggests, we could adopt an escape clause and ask about the motives behind disparaging a publication which could be a business rival to a news portal planned by a comrade in arms, under the guise of seeking clarity or responsibility. That would lack honesty and integrity. And both are virtues which bloggers claim they have in droves, and mainstream media does not.
But mainstream media, proper media, has a more comprehensive set of virtues at its core. And only when all of these are met, can bloggers aspire to accreditation.
1. Journalism's first obligation is to the truth
2. Its first loyalty is to citizens
3. Its essence is a discipline of verification
4. Its practitioners must maintain an independence from those they cover
5. It must serve as an independent monitor of power
6. It must provide a forum for public criticism and compromise
7. It must strive to make the significant interesting and relevant
8. It must keep the news comprehensive and proportional
9. Its practitioners must be allowed to exercise their personal conscience
If bloggers are unable to meet that, then just practise another artform. Make your readers laugh along with you, at the world around them and at their environment. Like the long lost Malay Male, who has made his return in his usual manner.
The public don't want to be fooled by what they see or hear. The public want challenges to preconceived ideas and to say goodbye to long standing fears. The public dont wanna play by the rules under the thumb of the cynical few. Or be laden down by the doom crew.
The public want a new song from bloggers, before they can aspire to accreditation.
Much has been said about the impact of the internet on these general elections, and the surprise results it brought. But then, much was also said the first time around as well, when the Reformasi groundswell of 1999 took to the online world to get its message across. They didn't do too well then.
This time, DAP, PKR and PAS, had a better plan, a more cohesive plan, to get their message across to the 1.4 million or so new voters, all of whom are believed to be of the internet generation. And it seems to have worked, thanks in no small part to the disillusionment of mainstream media.
Before the elections however, a group of bloggers decided to push for a campaign to boycott the mainstream media, as they were tired of the one-sided bias towards BN-led information to the detriment of DAP,PKR and PAS activities. While only a mere 965 signatures have been gathered in this campaign, many are trumpeting that this has been a crucial factor in the fall of the BN's political supremacy.
They could be right, to an extent. In information theory, when a void presents itself, then whatever arises to fill the void becomes the defacto source of information. And as long as there is no counterbalance to this, the dichotomy will continue with the polarization of different beliefs and different webs of trust to the different sources of information. Goebbels could not have said it better, but in this instance the mainstream media, the blogs and alternative media practised what he preached. They all gave distorted versions of the facts, thereby blurring the lines between the Third and Fourth Estates.
Within this mutually distorted miasma, the people of Malaysia made their choices on March 8, 2008. As Mydeen overheard one of his customers say, the headlines on Sunday should have read Oh, Fuck !.
A collective Oh, fuck by the BN because they lost, and they lost big.
A collective Oh, fuck by DAP, PKR and PAS because they won, and now what the fuck do they do ?
A collective Oh, fuck by the voters, because they had not planned on providing such a large swing.
Oh, fuck.
And Oh, Fuck, the blogs are now going to think that they actually have reached the objectivity of a properly run news outlet. Already some have begun to trumpet the election of a blogger into Parliament, claiming superlative glory in the process.
The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) asks, were they elected because they were bloggers or were votes thrown at them because the people wanted a change from the BN ? After all, even the self-proclaimed representative body of the bloggers, AllBlogs, has yet to get a mandate from its consitutency by holding elections for their office bearers.
And when bloggers, who masquerade as journalists in the day, use their pulpit to turn untrue assumptions into fact, where then lies the objectivity in facts which the people crave ?
Shanghai Fish, based obviously on beer talk, has suggested that he is privy to insider information. MalaysianInsider information, that is. He links to an article from the NST, and tries to suggest a linkage. However, even a cursory reading of the article would expose two fallacies he is trying to perpetuate. Something does smell of rotten fish here, but then it always has when the void exists.
A blog, or a newspaper, is only as good as the people behind it and the credibility they bring with them. When any news outlet, blog or otherwise, is managed by individuals with the morals of a viper, you would expect the information to be distorted to serve personal gains, such as a public show of support for a comrade who was unceremoniously dumped by the entity being disparaged. Just as the herdmentality takes root.
So, while some blogs and alternative news outlets will attempt to objectively present the facts not covered by the biasness inherent in the mainstream media, not all of them should be consumed as the gospel truth. Like an intelligent citizenry, we should allow ourselves to be exposed to the different views and then decide for ourselves, not to fall into the trap of believing that whatever fills a void has to be, by definition, the fact.
To do so would be tantamount to listening to lies disseminated by a man in masquerade. And honestly, that'll be a drag.
Yes folks, fresh from our recent electoral victory, we at the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) have been doing some thinking and strategizing for a better Malaysia, just as we promised our electorate.
Yes, we did say just placing an X on the ballot sheet was enough to constitute a vote for us. And you, the people, listened to us. What an overwhelming show of support, nearly 8 million of you came out and put the pangkah where you should. Truly, we're humbled by your confidence in our lineup of candidates.
We never expected it to swing this way, but then, neitherdidanyoneelse. But it has swung, and we now have to live with what has happenned, for good or for bad.
The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) fully intends to take the bull by its horns, and deliver on what we have promised. With the overwhelming majority in Xs that we have, we can do this. However, our belief is also that we need to be inclusive and bring all stakeholders into the fold. We would like Malaysia to be for Malaysians, and to be run by Malaysians with Malaysia at heart. We do not want petty political considerations to ruin the business of making Malaysia right again. Neither will we allow our nation to be threatened by those who have only their interests at heart.
So, in all humility, we would invite our counterparts Parti Undi Rosak (PUNDAK) to join us in forming a coalition government. We do realise that though a lot of you did go out an place an X for us, many of you also didnt know where to place the X or chose to place other less than politically correct symbols on the ballot box. That was a vote for PUNDAK, and we respect their legitimacy in that matter. However, since they were not able to win in any constituency, we still think that the principle of One Man, One Vote applies.
We think that between the legitimate Xs and the undi rosak, the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) and PUNDAK have taken 100% of the popular vote, thereby eradicating the imbalance caused by the first past the post system as used in Malaysia. Discussions are now underway with PUNDAK representatives on this, but we do not forsee any showstopper issues.
So, to the people of Malaysia, thank you for giving us such an overwhelming mandate. We promise to be what you think we are, for now all your base are belong to us.
The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) believes in ringing in the changes. Yes, let's change the politics of the country, let's do away with racist/racialist/community/ethnic-centric policies that divide rather than united.
We have the poor and they are all Malaysians, poor in wealth, poor in health, poor in knowledge and generally poor in dealing with the future. Let's enrich them and let's get everyone on board, not just any one distinct group or community.
In that regard and in the aftermath of March 8, 2008, let's do away with state constitutions that are racist in nature where chief ministers can only be from one community, one faith.
Fact is, how can anyone who is not elected but gains position by blood anoint/appoint a chief executive of the state? Somehow, that seems so wrong.
For those who have castigated the DAP decision to stay away from the Perak MB's swearing-in, ask yourself if you have voted in a democracy. And what a democracy means. How can anyone allow such an injustice in the name of democracy?
This is pathetic. As is the overnight absence of allegations of vote-rigging because some parties have won - and won big - in the weekend elections. Those voices that malign and indict without evidence are muted after the victory.
Hypocrisy reigns supreme before and after the elections. There are changes but somethings have not changed.
We remain a pathetic compromising lot. We are all the poorer once again. For not standing up for democracy just days after voting with our feet to register our protest, our disgust with how matters have been sliding over the years.
The Siber Party of Malaysia (M) is disappointed. The changes made have not been magical enough to transform the nation and its citizens. Same old same old. Damn!
Across the country, politicians are becoming shetland ponies.
Yeah. A little ho(a)rse - shouting, cajoling, pleading, hectoring, castigating, laughing, smiling and generally abusing their vocal cords for support while others get cash to keep the campaign going. Some pluck guitar strings to tug at heart strings for a vote or at least a sympathetic ear to their cause.
The Siber Party of Malaysia (M)? We won five and are now going for other seats. Just an Xby all voters and we are a shoo-in to win the other seats. Our manifesto has found resonance, yet there are other issues we need to cover and reassure that we remain a party that cares for all.
For example, we have previously said we will cut the civil service by half but having seen the crime index shoot up over the past two years, we now intend to turn most of the General Operations Force and the Federal Reserve Unit personnel into general duty policemen.
We believe this can free up about 10 percent of the current 90,000-strong police force apart from on-going efforts to get the uniformed personnel who do administrative work to actually patrol the streets.
We also want to get the breweries to reduce beer prices. Nothing better than affordable beer to keep one straight and narrow and totally sober.
Well, that is our experience in Langkawi, Labuan and now Tioman whenever we go for parties. Beer to cheap that we just want to drink water.
Also, more importantly, we discovered that there are many of the Christian faithful fretting about the creeping Islamisation in the country and the banning of the word Allah. While we oppose this arbitrary banning, we think it is not a reason to migrate or claim oppression.
Come on, wouldn't you make some noise if the ruling coalition made it mandatory to use the word Allah. So get with the programme and punish the ruling parties, put the X for us.
Since we released our manifesto and party symbol, we've had quite a few supporters tell us that they would vote for us, uncontested or not. We at the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) would like to thank you for your support, and we will endeavour to serve you better in Parliament, now that we have 5 times more YBBs than we had in the last session. Yes, we want you. For without you, there can be no elections and there can be no democratic process, as we are all guaranteed in the constitution.
As the campaigning period runs into its closing phase, all the contesting parties are going to be saying they want you. They will promise development, a change in how things are done and even a bright and rosy future for you and your kids. They will plead, beg, threaten, cajole and mislead, all in the name of getting your mandate this Saturday. They will even get folk who are supposed to be unbiased to tell their side of the story.
They want you, and they want you real bad. As a voter, you are not going to be sucked up to like this for the next five years, so make the best of it. Ask the right questions, and more importantly, remember what was promised and not delivered. You don't want to be making the same mistakes now, do you ?
If you're still confused after all the differing policies and manifestos, just go to the ballot and place your X, for that in itself would be a vote for the Siber Party of Malaysia (M). Don't worry, transportation has been arranged. And you can now look all pretty and dolled up by painting your nails, since the EC has made policy reversal #2,482,339 and decided not to use indelible ink to ensure that double voting does not happen. Maybe we should all show them the finger anyway, just to let them know what we think.
And when that's done with, go home and watch a DVD or five, after all, it wont be long before DVDs will be as scarce as honest politicians with the Replacement for the Bitches. Inspite of that animal world record, the chickens are apparently not happy with the announcement that their income will be cut. They had better not be complaining too much before they find themselves sleeping with abundant fishes.
Yes, SiPM too wants you. Just the touch of your hand behind a closed door. Only you.
The reason given was because similar ink was imported by individuals which in turn could lead to abuse by forcing the use of the ink prior to the elections on rural voters who are unable to understand the use of the ink properly.
Thus to avoid potential confusion and public disorder, the use of the indelible ink is canceled.
What seems to be something akin to an elaborate ploy of cheating by the parties in power according to the opposition parties, we at SiPM yawn at such allegations.
As we have stated before, "the four-point Bersih memorandum, to clean up the electoral rolls, use indelible ink, abolish postal votes and further access to the media did not have the single most important reform of all in the country."
To promote democracy and fairness at its best altruism, SiPM advocates a One Man One Vote system and this is what we will implement when in power.
Only when the rakyat is properly represented, will fairness try to take on its best form.
As you've all been aware by now, all Siber Party of Malaysia (M) candidates were returned unopposed in their respective constituencies. We are thrilled at having increased our representation by 500%. You'll now see YBB Dek Mat, YBB Mat Merah, YBB Tatak Sombong and me joining our Chief Whip YBB Minah Black in Parliament. That girl needs company, if you know what I mean.
While we're absolutely ecstatic at the party's showing this time around, we think that it would have been better to actually have to compete just to allow our constituents to exercise their constitutional right to pangkah the ballot paper. Quite obviously, due to us being uncontested, our constituents were denied their time-off from work to mengundi for us. That's 4 hours of productivity they could not skivvy off from. What a waste !
Moving forward though, we think that though we are all parliamentarians now, we still owe it to our constituents and the people of Malaysia to tell them what we stand for. Hence the release of our manifesto, The Power of 4G.
We now think that why bother just stopping at denying the 2/3 majority, after all, what can we do without the mandate to govern the nation ? So as our Chief Whip announced yesterday, we are going for broke and standing in the other seats we have yet to secure. Like we told our good friend Hafiz, we reaffirm our stand that bloggers shouldnt be elected just because they are bloggers, but because they will make good parliamentarians and stand for something their constituents believe in.
And unlike Jeff Ooi, we will not ask to ban race based parties either. After all, wouldn't doing that be tantamount to eroding the rights of freedom of association ? If birds of a feather want to flock together, then let them by all means. You'll just get a lot of noise and a lot of avian doodoo falling from the trees.
So, I am proud to unveil our electoral poster and the party symbol in the coming March 8th elections. We've decided to keep it simple, and done away with complex symbols. Going black and white will ease our financial burden during campaigning, for not all of us are able to raise RM113,000 through donations from birds of a feather. We'll only be raising funds through Mydeen's mamak shop, where RM0.10 from every teh tarik purchased will go towards SiPM campaign funds. While Mydeen does sell a lot of teh tariks, that still won't be enough for a full fledged publicity campaign.
So, without much fanfare, do allow us to unveil our party symbol, the humble X. Just turning up at the polling booth and placing an X on the ballot paper would be a vote for the Siber Party of Malaysia (M).
A simple X, that's all it takes to let us know that you want us. Remember, you the people, have got the power.
Sometimes, its the little things that count notwithstanding the weightage one puts to it.
And so, after perusing through the manifestos of most if not all the political parties, particularly the DAP and PKR, we get a feeling that its nothing more than petrolhead populism. At least the promise to cut toll charges and pump prices.
You know, we actually won't mind that. But its empty promises because in the same breath, they say deny the ruling coalition the two-thirds majority. Guess they are actually looking at incremental change.
We think otherwise.
We propose to increase pump prices for all fossil fuels except natural or compressed natural gas used in all modes of transport. Fact is, we would even give incentives for hybrid or electric-powered vehicles.
Current emission levels in Malaysia is already turning our pristine blue skies grey at certain times of the year, although some of it can be attributed to neighbouring nations. The fact remains, we need to cut down emission levels to enhance air quality and delay climate change.
And we would like to maintain toll charges at current levels. As it is, the lattice-work of highways criss-crossing the country has encouraged a growth in the number of cars on the road. We need to reduce that, to reduce emission levels and even road accidents.
Instead, we propose to use savings from the lack of subsidies to finance better public and goods transport using clean and green energy where possible. The other parties can talk about preserving the environment but we haven't seen any plans yet.
Planting flags, stringing buntings and pasting posters won't help. We need vision. We need action.
Those who want short-term gains, like cheap fuel and toll charges, are like the same politicians who want a short-cut to power for their own ends and not for the interest of the public and future generations.
Think about it. And vote the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) if you want more than just cheap fuel, cheap tolls and cheap talk.
Things are looking super duper for the Siber Party of Malaysia (M) as we have won all our parliamentary seats uncontested!!! Awesome!
So I wanna like say congratulations and felicitations to SiPM's four new parliamentarians: Yang Bukan Blogger (YBB) Dek Mat of Kencing Setan (P.666), YBB Tatak Sombong of Sungei Wang (P.888), YBB Mat Merah of File Not Found (P.404) and YBB Mydeen Aboo Backer of Mamak Maju (P.786).
And of course congratulations and felicitations to me too for successfully defending my seat. Like duhh!
And more good news!
We are like absolutely ecstatic with the results and we have decided to like to go allll the way and contest in all Parliament Seats.
And of course all you guys and gals out there will want to know hey what else right?
Unlike the other parties in Malaysia, SiPM is soo committed to lead Malaysia into new heights, and depriving Barisan Nasional their 2/3 majority will result in no change, like come on! How can you make changes in Parliament if the opposition has less than 2/3?? Its like, got to be total, man! Now wouldn't that be totally rad!
Denying BN the 2/3 majority would like preserve the status quo in Parliament - nothing would move and all would be bogged down with politicking and not the business of running the country.
Fact is, Status quo should just remain a band from the 70s.
Oh.My.God! Why couldn't they think of this?
Anyway getting on with our program for the day, here's our tripendicular Manifesto, folks!
LEGALISE THE POWER OF 4G - SiPM'S MANIFESTO FOR THE 12TH MALAYSIA GENERAL ELECTION
Legalise IT: Parties of all kinds - political and festive, sexual and tupperware!
Legalise IT: Marijuana. We may not be able to stop the rise in fuel or food prices. But we sure can make you laugh about it!
Legalise IT: Carnal Knowledge. How else can we create truly united Malaysians, without knowing how to do it right and like of course with pleasure! ;)
Legalise IT: Football Pools. If we can't win with our national team let's just bet on the sport! With rising prices, this is another way for you to score some C-notes!
LEGALISE IT: The power of 4G.
"PARTI.HISAP.MAIN.JUDI. UNDILAH SIPM (M)!"
Now you know our manifesto, all that remains is to inform you of our party logo and how to vote for us at the ballot boxes. But that's for my boys to like tell you guys and gals...
So that's all from me tonight! Someone gag me already! Teeheee!
Remember! PARTI! HISAP! MAIN! JUDI! How G is that?
